Tower of Terror.

So, for some reason, whenever people ask me: 'What's your biggest fear?' I draw the biggest blank. Literally, nothing comes to mind. Ok, yes, sharks and mice and spiders and roaches do, but I never can pin-point a specific fear. One that surpasses all of the rest. That is, of course, until today.

I don't know how I always  forget what scares me most in this world. I think subconsciously I am so embarrassed by my fear and what happens to me that I try not think about it. Ever. And, I try to avoid any contact with it whenever possible. (This was quite the challenge living in New York).

If I haven't already given it away, or you haven't figured it out, my biggest fear is elevators. Yes, people, elevators. I don't fear getting eaten by an alligator or struck by lightning, I fear getting stuck in an elevator. 

Go ahead. 

Laugh it up.

I'm used to it. My family has laughed at me for years as I haul my luggage up flights and flights of stairs in foreign places because of the fear that their elevators are not up to par with U.S. standards, or that their fire department won't get me out in time before I hyperventilate and die.

My career should be as an elevator inspector. I can't tell you how many 'vators I have stepped in and immediately stepped out of. First things first, if there's no emergency phone, I 'aint ridin'. Sorry, folks I would much rather get the exercise and take the stairs.

Secondly, if buttons are missing or don't light up, that's a big red flag for me. If the interior of the elevator isn't even maintained, what makes you think the exterior is maintained (aka the wires and cables that get me from point a to point b without plunging to my death).

And, lastly, the inspection certificate. I always check the date of the last inspection to make sure it's not expired.

Sick, right? I probably need help. Of the two elevators I rode today, though, I tried to keep my cool as much as possible and found looking at the floor and focusing on a specific object to be quite beneficial. It also helps if there's people in the elevator with me, because somehow the fear of plunging to my death seems more ideal with others tagging along. Oh, and if the elevator is glass, even better! In this case, I could knock and scream and flail and kick if I got stuck. Someone would definitely notice me. (at least that's what I tell myself). 

My only hope is that one day, I can step on an elevator without sweaty hands, a racing heart and that slightly crazed look in my eye. I hope I can step on without a care in the world or even have to look at the inspection certificate. No phone, though? Well, that, I don't know if I could do without. 

(Here's the Tower of Terror at Disney. I'm pretty sure to even consider taking this plunge, I would have to be either heavily medicated or intoxicated, or both. In any case, I don't think anyone would enjoy that ride if Emz was on it. Screams heard 'round the park!)