The Scary Truth?

I don't know whether to cry or laugh at this article I read today on gawker.com. As frustrating and daunting as it is trying to find a job right now, let alone at a newspaper or magazine, writing has always been my passion. I guess all I can do is stay positive and be okay with the fact that most people's first jobs aren't their dream jobs. And, in the meantime, I'll be penning the next great American novel, which will obviously make me millions. A girl can dream, people.

Ten New Jobs For Journalism School Graduates
By Hamilton Nolan, 3:25 PM

Despite the fact that there are not enough jobs for people already in journalism, kids still pay big money to go to J-schools. Where will they find work? New ideas for a new world:

Old: War reporter. New: Army Private—No embedding necessary. Write a book afterwards!


Old: Gossip reporter. New: Bartender—You will know everything there is to know about the glamorous alcoholics in front of you, every day.

Old: Sports reporter. New: NBA Superstar—Statistically, J-school graduates are now equally likely to land either of these jobs when they get out of school.


Old: Foreign correspondent. New: Peace Corps—The Peace Corps is still accepting applicants, as far as we know. Knowing how to write comes in handy when teaching English, in Uzbekistan.

Old: Business reporter. New: TPS Reports Writer—You'll find that the upside-down pyramid style really helps middle management digest those TPS reports more quickly and effectively. A good use for copy editing as well!


Old: Media reporter. New: Flack—New graduates could actually have a leg up on getting into the PR industry. All the laid-off reporters trying to switch careers probably pissed off and abused the flacks already; new grads can act like J-school was just a training ground for Corporate Communications.

Old: Feature writer. New: Subway Performer—Countless enterprising young J-schoolers have come here to the big city and knocked out an experiential "Life of a Subway Performer" story for their features class. Now you can cut out the middleman by writing features on the L train, for change. The tunnel between 1st Ave. and Bedford gives you upwards of three minutes to capture your subjects' essential spirit.


Old: Paid Intern. New: Unpaid Intern—Money corrupts the editorial process!

Old: Travel writer. New: Cruise Ship Employee—See the world, free of deadlines and hassling editors.


Old: Underqualified journalist. New: Overqualified blogger—Uh...on second thought, we don't need the competition.