Tuesday, March 31, 2009

In reality TV news...

P-Nasty is hosting the Bad Girls Club Reunion tonight (holla...thanks for the reminder Kel)

&

The Countess, Luanne, on Real Housewives of NYC is getting a divorce?! Woah. Doesn't that go against her entire book of etiquette? Hm, does this mean she will finally stop making us commoners refer to her as 'The Countess' because frankly I'm sick of it. 

The only one I really feel for in this whole sticky situation is their family dog, Aston. He's a Westie, and too cute for words!

It's Miley!

Down-right awful video, but good song.  

Check it out below, preferably with a blind-fold. And, can someone please call home girl a dentist to fix that snaggle tooth? Oh MiLeY Gosh...

Tower of Terror.

So, for some reason, whenever people ask me: 'What's your biggest fear?' I draw the biggest blank. Literally, nothing comes to mind. Ok, yes, sharks and mice and spiders and roaches do, but I never can pin-point a specific fear. One that surpasses all of the rest. That is, of course, until today.

I don't know how I always  forget what scares me most in this world. I think subconsciously I am so embarrassed by my fear and what happens to me that I try not think about it. Ever. And, I try to avoid any contact with it whenever possible. (This was quite the challenge living in New York).

If I haven't already given it away, or you haven't figured it out, my biggest fear is elevators. Yes, people, elevators. I don't fear getting eaten by an alligator or struck by lightning, I fear getting stuck in an elevator. 

Go ahead. 

Laugh it up.

I'm used to it. My family has laughed at me for years as I haul my luggage up flights and flights of stairs in foreign places because of the fear that their elevators are not up to par with U.S. standards, or that their fire department won't get me out in time before I hyperventilate and die.

My career should be as an elevator inspector. I can't tell you how many 'vators I have stepped in and immediately stepped out of. First things first, if there's no emergency phone, I 'aint ridin'. Sorry, folks I would much rather get the exercise and take the stairs.

Secondly, if buttons are missing or don't light up, that's a big red flag for me. If the interior of the elevator isn't even maintained, what makes you think the exterior is maintained (aka the wires and cables that get me from point a to point b without plunging to my death).

And, lastly, the inspection certificate. I always check the date of the last inspection to make sure it's not expired.

Sick, right? I probably need help. Of the two elevators I rode today, though, I tried to keep my cool as much as possible and found looking at the floor and focusing on a specific object to be quite beneficial. It also helps if there's people in the elevator with me, because somehow the fear of plunging to my death seems more ideal with others tagging along. Oh, and if the elevator is glass, even better! In this case, I could knock and scream and flail and kick if I got stuck. Someone would definitely notice me. (at least that's what I tell myself). 

My only hope is that one day, I can step on an elevator without sweaty hands, a racing heart and that slightly crazed look in my eye. I hope I can step on without a care in the world or even have to look at the inspection certificate. No phone, though? Well, that, I don't know if I could do without. 

(Here's the Tower of Terror at Disney. I'm pretty sure to even consider taking this plunge, I would have to be either heavily medicated or intoxicated, or both. In any case, I don't think anyone would enjoy that ride if Emz was on it. Screams heard 'round the park!)

Monday, March 30, 2009

The perfect pink.



It's about that time again. 'Italian Love Affair' time. This is my absolute, all-time favorite nail polish, and I want it on my nails and toes right now. I need to go find our nearest Sally and pick up a bottle, or three.

It looks even more ferosh if you apply a coat of french-tip white polish first, and then follow with two more coats of 'Affair.' You'll thank me later.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Princess Milk Dud? Really?

I copied two of my favorite other bloggers today (Melissa & J-Layne), but this was just too much fun to pass up:

1.YOUR REAL NAME:
Emilie Bryen Williams

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(parents’ middle names)
Lillian Bill. So, could I change it to Lil Bil? Hah, this sounds like it should be my rapper name.

3.NASCAR NAME:(grandfathers’ first names)
Bill Thomas or Thomas Bill. I can't decide which sounds better, both sound pretty generic.

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
WilEm. Oh, I could be the next Will.I.Am, except mine would be Will.I.Em. I like it.

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Pink Cougar. hahaha.

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Bryen Bellaire........oh, me likey, me very likey!

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add “THE” to the beginning)
The Purple Captain. Betches better be scared of me!

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Emms...hells to the yah! Gosh, I just love how this keeps working out!

9.ROCK STAR NAME:(current pets name (or most currently owned pet), current street name)
Gaspar Bowie. Um, Hello?! David Bowie, anyone?! This just keeps getting better...

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Oscar Crescent. Yikes, I think my streak is over.

11. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Emi-izzle...what up DAWG!

12. YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Henry. Fear me.

13. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Princess Milk Dud. Um, yah, I will just leave it at that.

14. FAMOUS PERSON WHO YOU WISH YOU DIDN’T SHARE A NAME WITH:
No one because no one spells it like me. muahaha. But, my fave EmilY would definitely have to be Emily Blunt. Love that betch!

A look that actually deserves a: 'That's Hot!'

Dare I say it, I'm kind of loving Paris' top and head-band combo. 

The color is so vibrant for Spring and looks great with her (spray) tanned skin, and her hair accessory is really cute and surprisingly subtle. 

You go, girl. I think she's slowly learning that tiara's are not always meant for day-time wear, as much as I would like for them to be.  

As for her other accessory, the pooch... Well, he kinda looks like a rabid, little beast. I'd leave buster at home, because, like, he would totally get in the way of my shopping. Duh.

It's Friday...

and I just wanna dance !

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Special treat from me to you*

I can not believe I figured out how to do this (I had to watch tutorials on youtube), but without further adieu, I'd like to introduce you guys to my very first VLOG! I'm so techno, people! Loves it and I hope you do, too.

DISCLAIMER: I said 'anywho' about five times. You put Emz in front of a camera and sometimes she repeats herself. Who knew?

Out of commission.



I'm feeling pretty awful today, so much so that my creative juices have ceased to swirl. I'm just not on top of my game today and wish that I had my mom here with me to make me cold wash cloths for my head and hot cups of honey tea for my sore throat.

I think I may have to settle for a cup of Whole Foods tea and finally some medicine. I don't think I can fight this cold off on my own much longer. Hopefully, I will be back in full swing tomorrow, or who knows, maybe later today. You know I can't stay away from you guys for too long.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I twitter, therefore I am.

Emz has decided to jump on the cyber band-wagon and tweet! Check out my link on the right side-bar of my bloggie. Now you can follow me even more throughout the day. Exciting, or what?

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Haha wow this video of Pharrell has officially made my morning, because I, too, have been known to break it down at a McDonald's to get my meal of a choice. 

In fact, I'm pretty sure I have a video floating somewhere out there, too. It's amazing what people will do for a Big Mac or Snack Wrap in the morning hours. 

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Look of the day.



Can I please look like this when I'm a 'Desperate Housewife?'

Trend Alert.

Well, girls, it seems the maxi dress is back in full swing this Spring, and I must say that I am grateful because this look is effortlessly chic and transitions flawlessly from day to night.

Here's Jessica Szohr (on the left) from Gossip Girl hanging pool side in Miami over the weekend in a tie-dyed version and Nicole Richie looking glam in this silk version last night at her charity event in L.A. Both looks are on trend for this season, and everyone should own a casual and dressier version for the upcoming warmer months. And, want to know the best news? Flats or jeweled sandals look great with both. 

And they said it wouldn't last...

I wonder if Brody is sad that Doug traded in his bromance for a hoemance with P-Hilton.

'How long 'til our dreams run dry?'

On this dreary day, I just want to listen to Sugarland's 'One Blue Sky' on repeat and I probably will. Gosh, I just love this band. 

Monday, March 23, 2009

Channeling her inner Elle Woods.


(popsugar.com)

Here's Reesey-poo looking absolutely fabulous at the LA premiere of Monsters V. Aliens. Eat your heart out, Ryan Phillipe. Work it, girl. 

ATX Celebrity-ish Sightings



I may not have gotten to meet Perez this weekend or Kanye West (who made quite the surprise appearance at Perez's show), but I did get to see Kanye's new girlfriend, Amber Rose, in the powder room at the Alamo Drafthouse last night, and let me just tell you: She. is. one. fierce. diva.

I stared at her in the mirror as she meticulously applied her bright red lipstick contemplating what to ask her. 'So what shade is that?' 'Where did you get your shoes?' I definitely could not say, 'OMG! You're Kanye's main squeeze, right?' Even though, that was all that seemed to want to come out. 

Needless to say, I didn't say a thing, but I of course asked someone who worked there if Kanye was in the building. Sadly, he wasn't, but Amber was there with his body-guard. Interesting, very interesting.

Also, this past weekend, I saw The Bachelor from Austin, again. (You know the one who infamously left both women broken-hearted in the season's finale). I saw him earlier in the week eating lunch at PF Changs, which is appareantly one of his favorite haunts. 

Of course I told him this when I spotted him for the second time on 6th Street (outside one of the five bars he owns here), and I told him that I fully supported his decision not to pick either girl because I wasn't a fan of either of them. I think I caught him off guard, because he laughed hysterically and happily obliged to a photo, or three. Here we are:



Sunday, March 22, 2009

Jam Sesh



It's about that time again (my latest dancin' tunes):

MGMT- "Time To Pretend"
Sugarland- "April Showers"
Beyonce- "Halo" & "Diva"
Brad Paisley- "Then"
Empire of the Sun- "Walking On A Dream"
Toby Keith- "Should Have Been A Cowboy"
Charlie Robison- "My Hometown"
Miley Cyrus- "The Climb"
Jesse McCartney- "How Do You Sleep?"
Gabrielle- "Out of Reach"

On a brighter note.

I'm going to see 'I Love You, Man' tonight, and I'm so excited. My dad loved it, so I know it's going to be a winner.

Check out the extended trailer below:

Sad Day.

Liz and I went to Book People yesterday afternoon to try and see/meet Perez. Red Carpet Suicide was already sold out by the time we got there, and in order to even catch a glimpse of him (he was secluded on the third floor) you had to purchase a book to receive a color-coded wrist band which decided the order of which you got to meet him.

Such a process. But, honestly, what were we expecting? He is the Queen of All Media. Oh well, until next time....

Lady Gaga? Gwen Stefani?



Nope. It's actually Nicole Richie on the latest cover of BlackBook Magazine. I almost didn't recognize her. Her rings are so (sasha) Fierce. 

Friday, March 20, 2009

Lust.

The essential Spring Bag:



Where art thou, how do you say, 'Sugar Daddy'?

Think before you speak.

EmZ doesn't typically like to comment on politics, money or religion on her blog. Just like she doesn't like to talk about these issues with friends or family for that matter, but lets just say what I just read has left me flabbergasted. And, it takes a lot for me to be flabbergasted. 

Our current President, Barack Obama, equated his bowling skills last night on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno to that of someone in the Special Olympics. Really, dude? You are the President. Of. The. United. States. People in the Special Olympics are Americans, too and some of them may have lended their vote to y-o-u. The Special Olympics and everyone involved deserves quite the I-O-U from Obama. 

That's my two cents. Please don't make me write about you again, Mr. President. Let me stick to the important things in life, like fashion and celebrities. 


Just in case you missed it. Can you say DAMAGE CONTROL? My favorite part is Jay's reaction. Loss for words, much? Watch below:

Current Status: Giddy



Why you ask? 

Because the one and only, P-Nasty is somewhere in my city. 

I am almost positive he is probably staying at the Four Seasons or Omni downtown (since they are the most glamorous for his Queenie taste) and they are within walking distance of my apartment. 

I am determined to find him. 

Dell is hosting a party for him tomorrow night at an unknown location downtown, which I of course entered to win tickets to. 10 times. And, there is a book signing tomorrow afternoon for his award-winning Red Carpet Suicide at Book People, which is also within walking distance to me. I have a lot to talk to him about, and I will be first in line. 

I already have visions of our first, but definitely not last picture together. I can't wait to tell him all about my blog, and most importantly, that it is named after him. Remember his show, 'What Perez Sez" on Vh1? Just trying to make sure we are all on the same page here, people. 

I also want to hand him my pink, scented resume and see if he is currently accepting applications for correspondents around the country. Gosh, I hope there's not like a time limit on how much time each person gets to talk to him because I'm going to need at least a week. 


Desperate, much?

I guess people resort to some pretty pathetic things when their career's are in the tanker.

Here's evidence: from POPSUGAR.COM, Lez Lo on the latest covery of Nylon Magazine


On her Future: "I'm talking to lots of people. One is Sean Penn-- I spoke to him again the other day. We're trying to get Seth Rogen for this project, but Seth won't call us back. So call us back, Seth, if you're reading this."

Don't do it Seth, you are so much better than that! Plus you know that flick would go straight to DVD anyway. I mean looked what happened to 'I Know Who Killed Me.' Have you ever met one person who's actually seen it? I bet you could find more people who watched 'Glitter' willingly just to hear Mariah sing. 

Thursday, March 19, 2009

All in a day's work.



So, among other possible full-time job prospects that are currently in the works (it's about damn time) I have also decided to add substitute teacher to my plate. Because, hey, if these other fabulous opportunities happen to fall through, who wouldn't want to chase kids around all day?

I had to go in to the day care center this morning at 8:30 for my 'observation training' (i.e. they had to make sure I wasn't a complete psycho). Here's hoping I passed! It's now 6:30. I just walked in the door, and my feet are propped up on a pillow on my love seat. My entire body aches. I smell like baby wipes, baby food, sun screen and dirt. Quite the mix, eh? Yes, I am anxiously awaiting one long shower, but I had to blog first. Duh.

The beginning of the day was babies, babies and more babies. Don't get me wrong they were adorable, but after my lunch break, I was excited to meet the 'monkey group' (which are the 3-year-olds, and I quickly learned that they are appropriately named). 

They are the reason I hurt and smell like dirt and sun screen. They play outside from 2:30 until 5:30, and they don't stop for three hours. I ran and played and pushed kids in swings and made letters out of rocks and slid down slides I was way too small for and played catch with the boys and ran some more. 

But, do you want to know the thing that made my day oh, so worth it? The cherry on top of my sundae, if you will? As I was swinging little Ariella on the swings, she put her head upside down and said to me: "I wish my name was Emilie." And I replied, "What? I love your name. You have a princess name." 

But, she shook her head and said, "No, I want your name." So, naturally I retorted back: "Why, when your name is so special?" (especially, because all she talked about all day was her love for princesses and Princess Ariel.) 

And she looked at me and said, "I want your name because I want to be like you." 

Needless to say, my heart melted just a little, and I realized that maybe a profession in child care wouldn't be such a bad thing after all, as long as I get compliments like that every day. 



Naughty & Nice

Check out this sizzling new cover of Rolling Stone (from PopSugar.com). I can't tell you how excited I am that G.G is back on in full force. My Monday nights were just not the same without all the drama and scandal. Oh, and how crazy is this?! Blair aka Leighton Meester is dating a former principal's son from my day school. (did you get that?) How crazy would it be to see Blair in my church on Sunday?! haha, i can't even imagine....



xoxo Emz

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

"I'll see you around, around my home town..."

So, I am slowly but surely learning that Texas Country is oh, so different than Nashville Country, and true Texans get really offended when you don't know the difference. Needless to say, I am trying to learn all that I can about this new genre, especially since I now reside in the live music capital of the world. 

So check out one of my new favorite Texas Country singers, Charlie Robison. We jammed out to his song, "My hometown" the whole way back from the ranch, and I am now obsessed. (I couldn't find his real music video, but you still get the gist with this one). 


What Would J Simps do?

This weekend, our Sunday Funday was not your typical one. Or, at least not one I'm used to. I'm used to drinking 25 cent pints at Salty Dog or drinking Corona's poolside in Florida. Well, let's just say, things are a little different in Texas. On Sundays, or actually I'm pretty sure every other day of the week, Texan boys like to shoot things, fish and off road on their ranches. Me? Well, I learned this weekend that I'm not really into all that. I just like to lay on the dock and look pretty. (at least that's what Liz says). 

We went out to one of our friends ranch houses on Sunday and all of the girls and boys shot targets in the lake while I watched, and played with the dog, Max. 

Every single one of them pleaded with me to shoot. "Just one time. I swear it's not that bad", they said. "Uh, no thanks, you know those things can, like, kill people, right?" I replied. Plus, these guns were no joke. They were huge and looked and sounded like they could do a lot of damage. Liz and Alisha fell to the ground after each shot because their ears were ringing. And, Alisha at one point thought she had cracked a tooth (now, that would have gone over real well on Monday morning at dental school). So, why these persistent gun-men thought I would want to shoot, is beyond me. 

This weekend made me wonder how I'm going to fit in here if I can't even hold a gun, especially because, according to Kathy Morningside in Miss Congeniality: "This is Texas. Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun." But, when I'm feeling down and out, I just close my eyes and click my Jessica Simpson cowboy boots together and think what would she do? Somehow, it always makes me feel better.

Back by popular demand...

(err, rather, by my dear friend Kelly's plea).

Regardless, sorry for the wait y'all, but Emz and her wireless internet connection are back and better than ever. Since the last time you heard from me a few things have changed in my personal and professional life, but we shall save those little tid bits for later :)

So, remember how I told you I would be my normal blogging self by this weekend? Well as you can tell, that obviously didn't happen, but I have good reason, I swear. Alisha and Alyce were here for their Spring Break. And, this weekend, I lived vicariously through them and consumed a little too much Mexican food and more than enough margaritas. Needless to say, blogging just wasn't in my frame of mind, but don't think that means I didn't miss you guys, because I did. A lot. I missed telling you what's on my mind. Let's never spend this much time apart again. Capeesh? You all (whoever and wherever you are) are like my release, and I thank you for that.

Now, let's get down to business: This weekend was one for the books. I felt like Paris Hilton. It was so HOT. I went out Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night and had a Sunday Funday. Seriously, who does that? It's Wednesday and my body and toes (damn you, stilletos, are still feeling the pain). Liz and I usually only make it out on Friday nights because we're, like, totally big girls now and have to be responsible, and we've actually come to enjoy exploring our new city during the day on Saturday or just laying on the couch and watching Lifetime movies.

However, I'm not complaining. This weekend was a blast, and I'm glad that even though I hurt now, I can still run with the big dogs. I know deep down that I am getting too old to celebrate Spring Break like the good 'ol college days, but for the time being I am savoring my youth for as long as I can.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Can't believe...

I haven't blogged in almost a week! Our wireless connection has been really testy lately but I promise I will be back in full force this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!

Details, details, details....

are coming soon! Stay tuned!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

God Bless Texas

Saw this today and it made me smile. I can't wait until I see McConaughey in the flesh!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I wish I was on a boat.

I just showed this video to Liz from the hilarious Andy Samberg and right after she said:

Man, you know if we were on a cruise right now, I would blast this shiz all day and all night. Also, now that we're on the subject, once we start making the big bucks we are so going to take a Spring Break cruise again.

Me: You know, a lot of boats leave out of Texas. (Clearly, I've been thinking the same thing).


We are always running for the thrill of it.

You know when you hear a song that you really like but you have no clue who sings it so you can't even begin to look for it? Well, I found mine today.

I always hear this particular jam when I'm at Forever 21, and today I discovered it on Audrina Patridge's blog. I don't know what's worse: The fact that I go into Forever 21 so often that I know all of the songs on their in-store CD, or the fact that I occasionally read Audrina's blog. Anyway, have a listen and see if your foot starts tapping:

Getting tan and jacked, just like Barbie.

So Liz came home for lunch yesterday around 1ish and when she left to go back to work, I walked out with her because I was heading out for a run. When she came home at 6:30, I was just walking in from the gym:

Liz: Um, please tell me you have not been at the gym this entire time?

Me: No, I just went back. I have a lot of energy today, and I figured why not work out twice.

Liz: Who are you? Workout Barbie?

I don't know what has come over me, people, but I am loving feelin' the burn. And, let me just say, I am really feeling the burn today. Maybe I need to gradually work up to two-a-days, but I know my thighs and butt will thank me later.

Turns out, you can watch football in Ben Hill Griffin stadium for life, with the best seats in the house!



One of my besties, Hannah, told me about this Tampa Tribune article this morning, and I immediately looked it up. I've never really thought about where I would like my ashes to rest after I am dead and gone, but this article really makes me think about it a lot more. Sure, the University of Florida was only a part of my life for four years, but those were undoubtedly the best years of my life so far. I met my best friends, lived on my own for the very first time, and most importantly, found myself and discovered my true passions in life. So, check this out, and for all my Gator readers out there, leave me in the comment section where you would want to be remembered on the field.

UF Wants State OK To Keep Ashes On Campus

The Associated Press
Published: March 4, 2009

TALLAHASSEE - The University of Florida doesn't advertise it, but about once a month people call about having their ashes spread on the school's football field.

The school tries to honor those requests and knows alumni quietly scatter ashes on the campus's Lake Alice or behind fraternity houses. Now the school wants to build a more permanent home: a Gator graveyard of sorts.

The university wants to build what's called a columbarium — a structure with niches for the ashes of alumni — but there's a catch. Without the blessing of state lawmakers, the idea itself is dead. A bill that keeps the project alive passed its first committee Wednesday without objection.

"We feel like it would be meeting a need. I can't tell you how many people call," said Katie Marquis, the university's alumni association director of membership and marketing.

Right now, to build a columbarium the university would have to be licensed as a cemetery. But the state's oldest and largest university wouldn't qualify because new Florida cemeteries must have a minimum of 30 acres. That's more than 20 times the size of the field of "The Swamp," the university's Ben Hill Griffin Stadium, and the university can't set aside that kind of space.

As a result, the project is riding on a bill that would exempt the university and let it build a columbarium of five acres or less.
The proposed law would actually let any of Florida's 11 state schools to build their own campus columbarium, but a University of Florida lawyer helped draft the bill and the school has been promoting it. Identical bills have been filed in both the House and Senate (SB 926, HB 671).

University officials first floated the idea of a columbarium by Lake Alice in 2007. At the time, officials said a niche at the memorial might cost $3,000 to $5,000.

Kathryn Mizereck, who graduated from the university in 1973 and is now involved with the alumni association, said she understands the desire to spend eternity on campus and told her husband the football field is where she wants to be.
"Your ashes got to be somewhere," Mizereck said. "I personally would like to be on the 50-yard line because I don't want to miss anything."

If the bill passes and the university constructs its planned building it wouldn't be the first to house alumni's remains. The University of Virginia opened a 180-vault columbarium in 1991 and another 180 spaces in 2004. A master plan calls for building more space when those run out.

Indiana's Notre Dame opened a cemetery in 1843 and in 2007 added a columbarium with approximately 650 niches and 70 crypts. The university says it has sold roughly a third of the space available and could construct up to nine more similar buildings based on demand.

In Florida, the bill may have a fair chance of passing, not least because the University of Florida has a special place in many lawmakers' hearts. Six of the Senate's 40 members attended the university at some point as did nearly a quarter of the House's 120 members.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Burn.


No one messes with Elle Woods. Here's Reese on the latest cover of Elle.

On her divorce and adulterous husband: “Very humiliating and very isolating…But, by the way, if it’s not painful, maybe it wasn’t the right decision to marry to begin with. Those are the appropriate emotions."

So far, so good.

It's been a week of Lent, and I am holding on strong. So far, I have worked out every week day (cut myself a little slack this weekend) and have not had one chip or a single bite of salsa or queso.

Can I just say how hard this is going to be? Living in Texas? I'm just waiting for the next time I go to a Mexican restaurant, especially when Alisha (My tex-mex lovin' BFF) comes to visit next week. This is really going to be the true test, but I am determined to stick to my Lent promise this year. Wish me luck!

Better than ever.

Pictures of Brit from her opening Circus show in NoLa last night. I have come to the conclusion that she needs to come out with a work out video. I want my legs to look like hers!



Chain Mail.

Cute e-mail my mom sent me today. Enjoy, and Happy Hump Day!

"To Be 6"

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife,
>
> looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday
>
> was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for
>
> her Birthday? I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the
>
> mirror.
>
> On the
>
> morning of her Birthday, he arose early,
>
> made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then
>
> took her to Six Flags theme park.. What a
>
> day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of
>
> Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller
>
> Coaster, everything there was.
> Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head
> was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
>
He then took her to a a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy
>
> Meal with extra fries and a chocolate
>
> shake.
>
> Then it was
>
> off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite
>
> candy, M&M 's. What a fabulous adventure!
>
> Finally she wobbled home with her husband and
>
> collapsed into bed exhausted.. He leaned over his wife with a
>
> big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it
>
> like being six
>
> again??'
>
> Her eyeys slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.. 'I meant
>
> my dress size, you dumb
>
> ass!'
>
> The moral of the story:
>
> Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it
>
> wrong.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Scary Truth?

I don't know whether to cry or laugh at this article I read today on gawker.com. As frustrating and daunting as it is trying to find a job right now, let alone at a newspaper or magazine, writing has always been my passion. I guess all I can do is stay positive and be okay with the fact that most people's first jobs aren't their dream jobs. And, in the meantime, I'll be penning the next great American novel, which will obviously make me millions. A girl can dream, people.

Ten New Jobs For Journalism School Graduates
By Hamilton Nolan, 3:25 PM

Despite the fact that there are not enough jobs for people already in journalism, kids still pay big money to go to J-schools. Where will they find work? New ideas for a new world:

Old: War reporter. New: Army Private—No embedding necessary. Write a book afterwards!


Old: Gossip reporter. New: Bartender—You will know everything there is to know about the glamorous alcoholics in front of you, every day.

Old: Sports reporter. New: NBA Superstar—Statistically, J-school graduates are now equally likely to land either of these jobs when they get out of school.


Old: Foreign correspondent. New: Peace Corps—The Peace Corps is still accepting applicants, as far as we know. Knowing how to write comes in handy when teaching English, in Uzbekistan.

Old: Business reporter. New: TPS Reports Writer—You'll find that the upside-down pyramid style really helps middle management digest those TPS reports more quickly and effectively. A good use for copy editing as well!


Old: Media reporter. New: Flack—New graduates could actually have a leg up on getting into the PR industry. All the laid-off reporters trying to switch careers probably pissed off and abused the flacks already; new grads can act like J-school was just a training ground for Corporate Communications.

Old: Feature writer. New: Subway Performer—Countless enterprising young J-schoolers have come here to the big city and knocked out an experiential "Life of a Subway Performer" story for their features class. Now you can cut out the middleman by writing features on the L train, for change. The tunnel between 1st Ave. and Bedford gives you upwards of three minutes to capture your subjects' essential spirit.


Old: Paid Intern. New: Unpaid Intern—Money corrupts the editorial process!

Old: Travel writer. New: Cruise Ship Employee—See the world, free of deadlines and hassling editors.


Old: Underqualified journalist. New: Overqualified blogger—Uh...on second thought, we don't need the competition.

all time classic

Ever since I heard this song in the movie 'Drive Me Crazy' with Melissa Joan Hart, I was instantly hooked. I had to know who sang it at that instant. After a few days of searching, I finally found it and years later it still makes me so happy every time I hear it.

I literally can still listen to it on repeat. I think I can safely say it's one of my favorite songs of all time. Have a listen and see what you think.

Better Luck Next Time.

Bonnie announced the winner of her 'Rock The Soap' contest this morning, and my mom and I didn't win :(
Oh well, you win some and you lose some, right?

Brit & Candies?!

Talk about a dynamic duo! I may actually buy some clothes from this line since my favorite is now the spokes-model!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Hold The Phone!

If pink dolphins exist, does that mean so do mermaids?



From PerezHilton.com:

"In Lake Calcasieu, Louisiana, a wonder worthy of Hello Kitty has been discovered!

A pink dolphin!

We shit you not!

The dolphin's "stunningly pink" color is the result of albinism, which is indicated by its red eyes as well as its pink skin. Don't worry, the dolphin is totally healthy. He's just pink!

Charter boat captain Erik Rue spotted and photographed the pink dolphin, saying, "I had never seen anything like it. It's the same color throughout the whole body and it looks like it just came out of a paint booth."

We wonder if the dolphin is a Perez fan?

Regina Asmutis-Silvia, senior biologist with the Whale and Dolphin Conservation Society reminds folks to "be careful, as with any dolphins, to respect it - observe from a distance, limit their time watching, don't chase or harass it."

That way everyone can enjoy the fabulous dolphin for as long as he lives!"

This set list is TOXIC.

Miss Spears' concert line-up just released on Perez:

CIRCUS

Perez/Parade Intro
Circus (Funky Remix)
Piece of Me
Thunderstorm Segue
Radar

HOUSE OF FUN (Anything Goes)

Martial Arts Segue
Ooh Ooh Baby/Hot as Ice
Boys
If U Seek Amy
Me Against the Music (Bollywood)

FREAKSHOW/PEEPSHOW

Everybody's Looking for Something Segue
Freakshow
Get Naked
Britney's Hotline
Breathe on Me/Touch of My Hand

ELECTRO CIRC

Break the Ice Segue
Do Something
Slave
Dancer Solo Segue/Heartbeat Segue
Toxic
Baby One More Time (Remix)

ENCORE

Womanizer (Extended Remix)
Circus Reprise: The Bow

I have got to get tickets to this show.

Quote of the Day.



Jen on the latest cover of Elle UK on her divorce:

"No matter what I say, things will always be taken out of context and misinterpreted, will always be turned around to make it seem as though I won’t let something go, or that I just keep talking about it over and over."

Not even PhotoShop can take away that crazy look in her eyes.

It's like she's telling us with that gaze: Help Me, Free Me, Love Me, Feed Me!

If this doesn't make you put down that bag of Cheetos, I don't know what will...

Two hot dogs topped with mac n' cheese from thisiswhyyourefat.com




P.S. Swim suit season is less than a month away!

Jibber Jabber

Background: Liz and I have yet to formally meet our across the hall neighbors who look to be in their mid-20's as well. We've just had the occasional passing in the hallways with a smile or 'hi' every now and then.

It's been two months and that's the extent of our convo's so when I heard them outside our door last night, I decided it would be a good time to casually introduce myself. Boy, was I wrong.

Me: Alright, I'm gunna go 'take the trash out.'

Liz: Your mouth is blue.

(She was of course referencing the popsicle I had an hour earlier. Damn, I lose again, I thought. Hopefully, it won't be another two months until we meet again).

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Birthday Brother!



Love you Justy, and I am so glad you are finally the big 2-1 !!